My Thoughts 1 Week Out

Hello again, Walker and I are going back on trail, and this time, Spencer is joining us too. 

Truth be told, I've been in the process of writing this post for more than a year and I'm still not sure how I want to introduce my mindset going into this hike. 

I'd say there are three emotions that have been top of mind for the last couple years: excitement, curiosity, and frustration. 

Starting with the obvious, I'm overjoyed that I'm in good enough physical and mental health to do a thru hike. You never quite know what can change over the course of 4 years, and in reality, something unforeseen could happen any second. As I've mentioned time and time again (for those who know me well), being outdoors leaves me with an aura of wonder and superiority. Not that I am better than those that don't hike the AT, but that I am fundamentally doing something more valuable than I have been. And it's not exactly clear to me why that is. To a degree, even though this hike is a break from regular life, it feels as though this is the most real experience that I could be pursuing, essentially realer than “real” life. I've always loved getting outside and I'm excited to put my skills to the test again. I don't particularly love activities that aren't challenging in some real way, and the juxtaposition of challenge and an unbelievable sense of gratitude and excitement to be back on trail are simply a great combination. It cannot be overstated. 

Next is curiosity. How will the trail be different this time? Will we have 40 days and 40 nights of rain, or will we see the sun between mile marker 100 and 200? Who will be on the trail? Will there be any gear failures? How have the past 4 years of life experiences shaped my perception of being on trail? Who was I then and who am I now? What pandemic will force us off trail this time? I'm joking about that last one. Unless I seriously injure myself, this trail is getting completed. 

The trail gives you plenty of time to think. Last time I cemented who I wanted to be academically and professionally. I started taking 20 credit semesters and towards the end, working full time while in school, and I did both well. I decided on pursuing a career in sales, without having much public speaking confidence and interest in interacting with people all day. And to a degree, I still don't like presenting to 10+ people (which I'm aware is still small), but I think it's important to work on undeveloped traits / skills.

Who will I be at the start of the trail and what will I discover along the way? Probably where I want to settle down and how. How I want to spend the second half of my 20's. How can I improve my character, values, and beliefs? I'm curious what will happen on the trail, both physically and in my mind. Who will I be at Katahdin?

I've been fascinated lately with how, ever since entering my teenage years, roughly every 4 years, there've been several noticeable changes to my life. Each range goes as follows:

13-17: I moved to and from Canada, discovered juggling, started hunting, entered high school, and learned to drive. All of my closest friendships began at these ages and I started to realize that with a car I could start going where I wanted. 

17-21: I graduated high school, cemented a love for hiking, fishing, and hunting, went to college and changed majors, and hiked 637 miles of AT. These years really refined the foundation of who I am now.

21-25: I graduated college, spent every summer out west, lived up at Walker's cabin in the Downeast Maine region, bought a bass boat (that only slightly leaks) and an old truck, and have spent more time with extended family and landed a job working for someone that I respect and actually enjoy working for. 

So again, what will the next 4 to 5 years hold? 

Lastly, frustration is a strange emotion and the question driving it is, "did Walker and I quit -- and did we really have to?" It's hard to answer. Although governors were shutting down the trail, especially in New England, we hadn't really run into any disturbances yet. There was a lot of uncertainty, and a decent amount of fear mongering that altered the mood of the hike. Ultimately, we didn't quit for physical or mental reasons, which is a win in my book. But, we did quit the trail, since we could have gone farther and actually have been forced off by a legitimate roadblock as opposed to hypotheticals. 

Enough of the past, why do I want to hike it now? The challenge and nature. The two intertwined amplify each other. The last 4 years have only reinforced that everyone has become complacent in their comfort and lacks a connection with nature. I'm not arguing that everyone needs to hike the trail or I'll think they're lazy, but it is healthy to accept the occasional challenge or go outside every once in a while. I know I certainly find myself in this mindset occasionally. I'll make excuses that it's to hot, humid, cold or wet outside, when in reality if I just went out I'd enjoy the time spent. Regardless, I'm looking forward to a defining 4.5 months of my life. And, closing the book on a chapter that should have finished years ago.

As a disclaimer, most posts will just be about the trail, and a whole lot shorter than this one. I'll include personal opinion and philosophy here or there, but certainly not to this extent in each post. Not that I think it's particularly uninteresting, but it's not what I'm trying to do here -- rather just talk about the trail and what I'm experiencing that day. Knowing myself though, I'll probably mix in my thoughts beyond just the trail here or there. 

If anyone is curious about this, I wrote these posts in January, February, and July of 2023, with a bit of tweaking in February of 2024. 

Looking forward to sharing this journey with everyone and as always, thanks for reading. Feel free to comment on the blog, or message me personally. I'll try to comment back whenever I can but I also don't really like being on my phone all too much so I'll respond when I can (and depending on reception too).

The walk home begins in the afternoon of February 21st.

Thanks, 

Tyler M. 

P.S. 

Walker's blog can be found here.

Spencer's Instagram can be found here. 

Absolutely no pressure to do so, but if you'd like to support my hike at any point, feel free to email me at tmcpherson139@gmail.com and we'll set something up. Whether this is sending us 10 bucks to get some food, or driving us somewhere to take a hot shower!